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Alpha's
Rants#1. Squishy, green, breaks down on exposure to sunlight.
This dropping is the "you
aren't fair enough to newbies" dropping. They often lay it when someone
questions them on their statements. Other bunnies will come along, ingest
it, and deposit their own piles of it. It often occurs with #2.
#2. Hard, green, breaks down on exposure to sunlight.
This dropping is the "why
are you picking on my friend" dropping. It occurs when one bunny lays a
#3 or a #5 and gets themselves thwapped or hurt. The bunny's friends and
offspring then come along to chime in on their displeasure.
#3.Slimy, black, Stinks to high Heaven.
This dropping is the newbie
teacher dropping, a still fairly rare type laid by only a few bunnies.
This dropping contains huge amounts of misinformation, and, when ingested
by student bunnies, produces hallucinations. Good bunny hunters will
seek the source of these deposits with relish, because bunnies that ingest
these droppings ofen become infected with the worms of misinformation and
self-grandiosity.
#4. Hard, Gray-Green, no smell.
This dropping, when laid,
nutures and fertilizes the forest. When eaten by other bunnies, it can
cure worms and toxic infections. This is the dropping of "I'm learning
and I don't know." Bunnies that lay these droppings don't create
websites, or, if they do, they credit authors and admit when they don't
understand. Hunters can capture these bunnies, nuture them, and make
rabbits out of them, or just let them be, because they will often evolve
on their own.
#5. Huge, Black, Smells of vomit.
This dropping is the one-book
bunny dropping, the bunny that reads one book and is suddenly a scholar,
even on things that weren't covered in the book. As with the newbie teacher
dropping, sweet and innocent bunnies ingest this, and turn into evil bunnies
from heck. Bunnies laying this are often insalvagable.
#6. Small, Pink, huge quantities.
This is the ultra gullable
bunny dropping, proof of a diet rich in psedoscience, fantasy-taken-as-reality
and sheer silliness. Bunnies laying these often cry "I got a new love spell,
but Mama Copperhead's website says I need to purchase her book to complete
the spell and mommy won't give me enough money!!"
#7. Sticky, lumpy, multicolored, smells of rotting flesh.
This is the dropping of
the toxic bunny. The toxic bunny reacts to criticism, real or imagined,
justified or not, by creating a letter writing or spam campaign. If the
toxic bunny is not killed or reformed, it may become the Contagion Bunny
(#8) or the Fundie Bunny(#10)
#8. Hard, Round, bits of worms.
This is the dropping of
the dredded contagion bunny. This is the bunny whose fears, anger, angst
or poor scholarship is coupled with enough charisma to convince other bunnies
to eat her foul, worm-ridden droppings, thinking it is good for them.
#9. Soft, Multicolored, Candy coated.
This is the dropping of
the Silly Wabbit, a variety of fluffy bunny, often in the years between
bunny and rabbit, who can produce copious amounts of full grown rabbit
fertilizer, the kind we all should strive for, but every now and then lets
out a parcel that she, herself, doesn't really believe. This is the
bunny who really wants to help but her goals, such as a deeper peace between
fans of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream, just aren't worth your time.
#10. Square, White, Pasteurized, has no smell to its creator.
This is the dropping of
the dreaded fundie bunny. The fundy bunny was a Toxic Bunny, #12, or #18,
but then she found Jesus. That she never understood Wicca when she
WAS Wiccan is not the point, now that she is a fundie bunny, the bunny
eating sheep tell her she was an expert.
#11. Gold plated, but still just feces.
This is the dropping of
the title collecting (and creating) bunny. Amazingly, At a tender young
age, she is a high priestess, a native american shaman, a Celtic druid,
or whatever else she reads about. She often also lays dropping #20.
#12. Fluid, magenta, smells like lighter fluid.
This is the "I'm not responsible
for it" bunny. If she violates a copyright, she's not responsible for it.
Steals a graphic or poem-not her fault-hurts her friends-nope, not her
issue! Of course, such bunnies must change or die. She may become a fundie
bunny, a toxic bunny or a #19.
#13. Hard, Black, no smell.
This is the steath bunny.
She sneaks around, pretending to be all the other kinds of bunnies, then
vanishes, only to pop up elsewhere. Rather than change, she just hides,
does it again, and vanishes when caught.
#14. Huge, singular, multicolored.
This is the blatent thief
bunny. The one who puts awards on her site she didn't get, or publishes
well known works as her own. They should just be shot.
#15. Black, singular, in a deep, deep hole.
This is the so-deep I'm
shallow bunny. This bunny's website has his poems on death and darkness,
and vampires, don't forget vampires, but they are really pretty horrid.
He's in Wicca because his parents don't want him there. He may also
be a #17.
#16. Hard, Round, Black, copious
This is the should know
better bunny. Maybe a parent, or a long time Wiccan, this is a person who
does something incredibly stupid without youth or newness as an excuse.
#17. Multicolored, on top of another bunny's droppings, smells like
vomit.
This is the my parents hate
my religion bunny. SURE, her parents have the RIGHT to declare what she,
as a minor, can and can't do, but she doesn't care. Watch out, because
she feels that her interest OBLIGATES teachers to teach her.
#18. Looks like the droppings of any bunny near them.
This is the hard to spot
me too bunny. If Starling RavonnaFox put a spinning pentacle on her
website, she needs one too!
#19. Varies, it's somebody else's dropping.
This is the flagrant abuse
of copyright dropping, a bunny who lays this lifts quotes and whole websites
from other people without giving them so much as credit. If thwapped, this
bunny will lay dropping #7 or #1.
#20. Fluid, blue, large quantities.
This is the not uncommon
dropping of an "ignorant on purpose" bunny. This bunny could learn more,
but fashion dictates against it, and this bunny is ruled by fashion.
If you attempt to help this bunny, it may lay dropping #12.
Click on Alpha's Portrait to return to her index.